Mary's Getting Married

Mary Millik's Getting Married June 25th, and I'm going to be in the wedding!!! With that said, I dedicate this song to Mary and Kevin:

"Somebody's Getting Married/The Marriage" written by Ralph Burns and Jeff Moss

(Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy are finally married in front of an audience of both "Muppet Show" and "Sesame Street" performers)

Bear:Extra! Extra! Somebody's getting married!

Bear 2:Somebody's getting married? HEY, somebody's getting married!

Bear 3:Whoa, somebody's getting married!

Pops:Somebody's getting married???

Lew Zealand:Somebody's getting marrrrieeeed!

Group:Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting somebody's getting somebody's getting somebody somebody somebody somebody...! [etc.]

Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Scooter: Somebody get some flowers! Somebody get a ring! Somebody get a chapel and a choir to sing!

Kermit:Somebody get an organ to play!

Singing Tuxedos:Cause somebody's getting married today!
[a bit of the 'end of ceremony' music played]

Miss Piggy, Janice, Camilla: Somebody get a preacher! Somebody bake a cake! Somebody get some shoes and rice and presents to take!

Miss Piggy: Somebody get a sweet negilee!

Singing Veils: Cause somebody's getting married today!

Swedish Chef: Veddeeng! Veddeeng! Peeg und fruggeee veddeeng!

Men: Somebody get champagne! Somebody rent a room!

Girls: Somebody get the lovely bride! And somebody get the-

Men: Somebody get the-
[Kermit nervously stumbles overstage here since the rhyming word is "groom" (of course)...]

Both: Somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody--!

Female Voices: Somebody get this wedding underway!

Swedish Chef: Coose-a sumebudy's getteeng merreeed tudey!
(Musical bridge)

Bear Family: Somebody's getting married....today!
[In Church]

Ernie: Are they here yet, are they here yet, did I miss it, am I late?

Bert: No, they're be here any minute!

Cookie Monster: Oh boy, me can hardly wait.

Pops: Isn't this exciting--it's the wedding of the year!

Sam The Eagle: Well, can't we start without them?

Muppet News Anchorman: No, you can't until they're here.

Sam: Hmm.Chorus of Penguins:They're fin-all-y getting ma-rrr-ied now!
(Musical bridge, sounds of wedding bells)

Miss Piggy: He'll make me happy. Each time I see him. He'll be the reason. My heart can sing. He'll stand beside me. And now I'm everything.

Kermit: She'll make me happy. Each time I hold her. And I will follow where my heart may lead. And she'll be all I'll ever need.

Babies: Days go passing into years

Old Ladies: Years go passing day by day.

Pig Family: She'll make him happy. Now and forever.

Frog Family: Until forever...their love will grow.

Muppet Family: She only knows...he'll make her happy. That's all she needs to know.

All: They'll be so happy. Now and forever. Until forever their love will grow-

Miss Piggy: I only know. He'll make me happy. That's all I need...to...know...

Kermit: (whispering, upon his realization): I thought Gonzo was going to play the minister...Piggy says nothing.

Minister: Do you, Piggy, take this frog to be your lawful wedded husband--do you?

Miss Piggy: I do...

Minister: Do you Froggie take this Pig to be your lawful wedded wife until you die?

Kermit: Well, I? Well....I...?

Priest: Do you?

Kermit:(gulp). I do...

Minister: Then because you share a love so bigI now pronounce you frog and pig.

(The KISS.)

Celebration, cheering from all the Muppets. Penguins evidently are tossed or throw themselves into the air.)

Kermit: What better way could anything end?Hand in hand with a friend.

FIN (get it?)

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"Birdcage" Mystery Solved

Nancy Drew,

Hardy Boy #1 reporting in for duty. I am sorry to say that I am late on my recent findings about the "birdcage". However, I guess that my "stealth" is better than I thought that it would be. The day after I posted my "birdcage" mystery, Mr. Dustin arrived home at the same time that I pulled in to our lot. I inquired about the bircage, which I found out that it actually did belong to him. He said that it got knocked down, and that he could it up if it bothered me. I didn't really care if he had his stuff laying back there, but it's strange when it's an old cheap ass birdcage with a plastic butterfly...what are you supposed to think?

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"Like I've always said, love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun."